Please rotate your device

The Emotional Impact of Relationship Breakdown

Posted: 17-09-2020

It is said that Divorce and relationship breakdown is one of the most traumatic things that could happen to a person.  However, it is often underestimated how much a relationship breakdown can affect someone. As solicitors we are trained to concentrate on the legal aspects, however it is often very hard to do so when faced with an extremely distressed client. At Sousa Law we understand that all of our clients must be helped holistically.

The reason why a relationship breakdown is so emotional and traumatic is because it is such a great loss. Often the person will;

  • Lose their best friend and lover.
  • Lose their home. Often it has to be sold and divided between them both.
  • Lose the future they had thought they would have with their partner. Plans for retirement or future holidays are all gone now.
  • Lose routines and certainties in everyday life. Relationship breakdown inevitably means that life will not be the same again.
  • Lose financial security. No matter how many ways you try to divide the finances, both people will inevitably be worse off.
  • Lose a co-parent for the children. Being a single parent is hard work.
  • Lose friends. Inevitably people believe that they have to take sides.
  • Lose a family. Often you lose contact with your partner’s family after a relationship breakdown.
  • Lose status. People will often treat you differently after a relationship breakdown.
  • Lose emotional security. People often lose self-confidence and trust in others. They also become more worried and down about life in general. Loneliness can also be a problem.
  • Lose a sense of freedom. Whilst many people experience a sense of freedom when they get out of a damaging relationship, others feel more constricted. Dealing with finances and the children on your own can be a very daunting prospect.

All of these losses need to be mourned, and with so many losses all crashing into one another it can be a very emotional time. People can typically feel angry, lonely, confused, frustrated, scared, shameful, guilty, overwhelmed, betrayed, indecisive, depressed, anxious, untrusting, unloved, rejected, abandoned, unattractive, unable to cope, hopeless and even suicidal.

Anyone going through relationship breakdown should therefore look after themselves and accept that they will have good days and bad days. Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, however you just need to ride the roller coaster of emotions. A good support network is crucial; be that a best friend for a cuppa and a moan, or your parents who can look after the children. Once you start to talk to people about how you feel, you will be surprised how many people understand and have felt similarly.

Sousa Law are expert Family Lawyers in Southampton. We work in conjunction with Therapists, Family Consultants and Coaches in the collaborative process and Hampshire Family Legal Services procedure to ensure that this important aspect of a relationship breakdown is addressed with the parties.

Nicole Biggs is also an accredited counsellor and hypnotherapist. She is therefore very aware of the emotional aspects of relationship breakdown, and this understanding underpins all of her legal work.


By Nicole Biggs


Family Solicitor Southampton, Family Lawyer Southampton, Divorce Lawyer Southampton, Divorce Solicitor Southampton